How to prepare your kids for the return to school during the coronavirus

School supplies are beginning to make an appearance at Target and H-E-B, or at least that’s what I hear — it’s been a few months since I’ve leisurely browsed the aisles of Target looking at the latest throw pillows from Hearth and Hand. The arrival of binders and backpacks means that another school year is just around the corner. Typically, parents and kids feel both excited and anxious about a new school year beginning, but this year, many of us have been heavy on the anxiety and light on excitement.

As the coronavirus continues to spread across the country, school districts have begun communicating to parents what policies and procedures will be in place in an attempt to keep students and teachers safe. I’ve heard a variety of concerns from clients in my counseling practice in response to this over the past few weeks. Some worry the schools are not doing enough to keep students and teachers safe and are contemplating another year of homeschool. Others feel that schools are putting too many procedures in place and are concerned that they could be opening their kids up to a traumatic experience, such as wearing a mask, seeing their teachers in masks, and being separated by plexiglass barriers. At the end of the day, parents are going to have to make the decision that is best for their family. 

For those families that are considering a return to school, I wanted to provide a few thoughts to help you prepare your child for a return to an environment that might feel very different from how it was before COVID-19 reared its ugly head. 

“How do I prepare my child for all of these changes?”

Beginning a new school year can bring feelings of anxiety in a normal year, much less during a pandemic. You can help your child by having an open conversation about the changes they might experience in school. Explain to them that the safety measures in place are designed to keep students and teachers healthy. Remind your kids that they can help prevent the spread of germs by washing their hands with soap, coughing or sneezing into their elbow, and wearing a mask when appropriate. Emphasize that we don’t need to be fearful about the virus and that following the guidelines the school puts in place is a way to take good care of ourselves, our friends, and our teachers. 

I also suggest that parents try to stay positive, as kids are very perceptive and will feed off of our own attitudes toward these changes. Remind kids that, despite some of these new challenges, it is a blessing to be able to return to school to see their classmates and teachers again, as well as to have the opportunity to learn new things.

“My child is nervous about wearing a mask and I’m nervous about all the new protective measures. Is it better just to homeschool than to subject my child to that kind of environment?”

I’ve heard something similar to this question a lot over the past few weeks, and unfortunately, there is no easy answer to this question. I think it’s reasonable to expect that kids might feel some anxiety returning to school and that some of these new rules might even be difficult for many of them. Kids are very adaptable and resilient, though, and you as a parent can support your child by empathizing, validating their emotions, and welcoming them to share their feelings with you. Remind kids that some anxiety is normal and that there have been many situations in the past where they have been able to navigate through their anxiety successfully, such as joining a new sports team, making new friends, or joining a new class

“How can I encourage my child to follow precautions without scaring her?”

I would suggest beginning to practice some of these precautions now, so some of them aren’t “new” once school arrives. Begin encouraging proper hand washing. It can be helpful to model this behavior by singing a song your kids would enjoy. In our house, we teach our kids to sing “Happy Birthday to You” while washing their hands. Practice wearing a mask or neck gaiter that can be pulled up over a child’s nose and mouth. It can also help a child see that, while this might not be what they would choose, it can be manageable.

Try to notice your own attitude around some of the new safety precautions. If you, as a parent, openly complain about wearing a mask to the grocery store or roll your eyes when a restaurant requests you to wear a mask to enter the establishment, it’s more likely your children will follow suit. 

“How can I check in to see how my child is doing?”

It’s important to regularly check in with your child to see how they are adjusting to the new school year. At our house, we often go around the dinner table and share a “high” and a “low” of the day. You can help your child become more comfortable by sharing your own feelings. For instance, you might share that you are feeling happy getting to take a walk with one of your friends, but feel sad that you are still not able to meet a group at your favorite restaurant for a mom’s night out. 

If kids have a difficult time verbally expressing, try engaging them through art or other creative play. Again, it is important to normalize feelings of anxiety and sadness for kids. And if these feelings ever begin to impact your child’s ability to function at school or their relationships, you might consider reaching out to a mental health clinician that has experience working with children and families for extra support.

“Can you give me one final pep talk?”

Be encouraged, moms and dads — 2020 has been a tough one, but you have and continue to persevere through it! You have navigated homeschooling, figured out new activities for your child and family to do together, and have taken care of yourself and your family during a very challenging time. You will be able to rise to the challenge during this chapter as well. You have been a source of comfort and peace for your child and will continue to do so in the months to come. 

Lastly, try your best to take care of yourself as well. You are the ones your kids look to in order to gauge how they should think or feel about a certain situation. Find a safe place to express grief over all that we’ve been through and the ways this virus has profoundly affected our lives. Your kids need you to be your healthiest self so that you can be there for them as they return back to school.